3,645 days ago, she came into my life to save me. Of course I didn't know that then, but she was sent to me, to bring me home to my family, to give me real meaning in my life, and to save me from myself.
Almost 520 weeks ago, at 19 years old, I learned that my life was now going to be lived for someone else....and that was OK with me. This little dependant, that needed me for everything, and loved me unconditionally, was going to go home with me, and I was going to be the best mother I could at 19. I never really thought it was hard to hold her and love her and nurse her. She was my Life even at 19. I got what it meant to love someone to the core.
120 months ago, I was laying in a hospital bed ready to deliver the first of my three girls. Scared of what was to come, and excited to see this little person that would be mine forever. In North Carolina on May 18, 1997 at 2:10pm, she was born. Deidra was there with us, all the way from Colorado, supporting her teenage sister, having her first baby.
10 Years ago my life changed, Braigen saved me. The closer the date gets, the more I can't believe it. 10 years, I have had this wonderful girl....who continues to fill my life with joy.
10 years that seem to have escaped me, and it really all feels like just yesterday. I often scare myself with thinking, in the time that I have had her, she will quite possibly be living away from home, hopefully enrolled in college, and living her "own" life. Where all of the time has gone, I do not know, but the thought of her leaving me in just 8 years still seems unbelievable. I know that 8 years is a long time, and I also know that it will be here before I know it.
On Saturday, she once again had me beaming with pride. It was her last soccer game of the season, and though she had scored 2 goals in 2 different games earlier in the season...this game was different. She had her "Break-out" game...I couldn't believe it was my daughter out there scoring 1 goal, then another goal, and then another, helping her team win only their second game this season with a score of 4-1. I jumped and cheered with each goal, as she looked to the sidelines for approval, and high-fived and hugged the girls on her team who were excited to be winning a game.
10 years ago, 5 years ago, 1 year ago, yesterday, today, and tomorrow I love her, and I am proud of her. She really always has been a remarkable little girl and young woman. She has compassion, and truly cares about other people. So today I say to her, thank you for changing my life at 19 and being a wonderful daughter since the day we met.
On Friday we will celebrate her 10th birthday, and I will be sad that it all has gone so fast, and happy that she is becoming the young woman she is. I Love You Honey, Happy 1oth Birthday.
